I get asked all the time about my experience moving abroad, as someone who packed up my life and moved solo to the other side of the world. The next most common questions are: how could you leave all of your family and friends? Why did you do it? And why did you choose to settle in Eastbourne, East Sussex, of all places?
There were a variety of reasons why I chose to relocate to the UK, including wanting to travel, wanting independence, new career opportunities and simply wanting a change in lifestyle. I had always wanted to live abroad and experience somewhere completely different from New Zealand, and Europe seemed like the perfect place to do it. I wanted to travel, but I also wanted to know what it would be like to actually live somewhere else rather than just visit.
It wasn’t actually how I had originally planned things, though. Two months before I left New Zealand, I ended a four-and-a-half-year relationship. We had been engaged and had planned to travel the world together, so suddenly being single and preparing to leave the country was quite a change from what I had expected my life to look like.
Two months later, I left New Zealand on my own and spent four months travelling through Canada and parts of Europe before eventually settling in south-eastern England after getting a job in Eastbourne.
Even that didn’t go particularly smoothly. While I was travelling through Central Europe, I lost my passport, which ended with me being stranded in Europe for six weeks and losing my job. It was definitely not what I had planned, and there were quite a few moments where I had no idea what I was going to do.
I’d also met my fiancé a few months earlier, and he was moving to the UK to be with me. He had managed to get a job in Eastbourne, so despite everything that had happened, we still decided to move here. Which is how I ended up in Eastbourne.
I think moving abroad in your twenties is the perfect time to do it. As you’re discovering who you are as an adult, you’re also getting to experience different cultures, meet new people and experience different perspectives on life. I’ve grown up so much since I’ve been here, I barely recognise who I was when I first left New Zealand.
Sometimes I’ll be sitting at work on a Monday morning thinking about how normal my life feels, and then I’ll remember that a few days earlier I was walking around an ancient city in another country. It’s a strange combination of having a very ordinary everyday life while also being able to do things that would have been much harder to do from New Zealand.
At the same time, living abroad isn’t as exciting as it probably sounds. Most of the time, we’re working Monday to Friday, doing the food shop, cleaning the house and deciding what we’re having for dinner. We have bills, appointments and all the same boring things everyone else does. The difference is that when the weekend comes, we can get on a plane or a train and go somewhere completely different.
We’ve been fortunate to travel to seven countries across Europe over the past two years while both working full-time. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to move to Europe was to be able to travel more, and it still feels slightly surreal that we can take a weekend away and be in a completely different country.
I’ve visited places that I had dreamed about seeing for years. I’ve wandered through ancient cities, explored castles, stood in front of buildings I’d only ever seen in photographs and experienced completely different cultures. There are so many places I probably wouldn’t have seen if I had stayed in New Zealand, simply because of how far away Europe is.
But moving abroad isn’t just travelling. Probably one of the hardest parts is being so far away from everyone you know. At home, you don’t really think about how easy it is to see your family and friends. You can meet someone for a coffee, go home for the weekend or pop around to someone’s house without having to think about flights and annual leave. There have been weekends where I’ve spent most of my time calling everyone I know because I’m homesick. I’ve missed birthdays and family events, and there have been times when I’ve really wished I could just be there rather than hearing about everything afterwards.
My grandparents are also getting older, and my younger siblings are growing up while I’m here. I’m not there for all of the little everyday things, and sometimes I realise I’ve missed something that I would have been there for if I still lived at home. Birthdays, weddings, family gatherings, and just the ordinary things that happen when you’re living close to your family.
I’ve also been in and out of hospital over the last two months, had two surgeries and been admitted for multiple days on two separate occasions. Being unwell is difficult enough without your family being thousands of miles away. You can’t just have your mum pop in with some food or have a friend come and sit with you. Instead, you’re talking to your family over the phone and sending anxious updates from a hospital bed on the other side of the world, while they’re asleep in bed.
Those are probably the times when living abroad feels the hardest. It’s easy to enjoy being able to spend a weekend in Rome or Istanbul, but being so far away isn’t quite as exciting when someone you love is getting older, your siblings are growing up without you being there for everything, or something goes wrong and you wish your family was nearby.
There are also all the little things you have to figure out when you move somewhere new. Finding a supermarket you like, figuring out public transport, finding a GP, making friends, learning your way around, finding a job and creating some kind of routine. Things that you wouldn’t normally think twice about suddenly become things you have to work out for yourself.
After a while, though, they just become normal. You stop having to think about which bus to take or where the nearest supermarket is. You have favourite places and routines, and eventually you realise you’ve lived somewhere long enough that you know your way around without thinking about it.
I think that’s probably one of the strangest parts of living abroad. New Zealand is still home, but England doesn’t feel foreign anymore either. I’ve grown used to hearing British accents everywhere, going to Tesco’s, Asda, Primark and buying meal deals. I’ve become accustomed to seeing historical buildings everywhere, pretty streets with twinkling fairy lights and eating traditional Sunday roasts in cozy pubs.
When I go back to New Zealand, there are things that I’m sure will feel exactly the same and things that will feel strangely unfamiliar. Friends have moved house, changed jobs, got married or had children while I’ve been away. Meanwhile, my life here has changed too. When I left New Zealand, I had no idea I’d end meet my future husband, travel around Europe, move to East Sussex and stay here for two years.
I also didn’t expect that my life would look so different from some of my friends back home. While they’re buying houses and having babies, I’m exploring Austria and the French Riviera. I’m not sure what I thought my twenties would look like when I was younger, but it probably wasn’t this.
It hasn’t always been easy, and there are definitely things I miss about home, but I’ve had some awesome experiences along the way. And if nothing else, I have a much more interesting answer when people ask me what I’ve been up to.
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